2007.03.25
Running Fansites
I made my very first site back in 2001 when I was fourteen. My very first website was a Persona site named "Pieces of a Dream." This was the first time I had the luxury of using internet at home since prior to that I only used the internet at school or the library. I became addicted to the internet and embarassing as it is, I even threw tantrums and fits if I couldn't use the computer to work on my pointless websites. Well I was fourteen at the time so cut me some slack.
The very first Persona fansite I came across was this one site that had tons of info. I was impressed. Later on I found out that the owner actually copied all the information from this other Japanese site. He also took a bunch of fan art as well. Since I didn't know any better I thought it was okay to "borrow" the information too. I didn't see it as stealing, most likely because I didn't see anyone get on his ass about it. I simply wanted to create a good Persona fansite. I also used Japanese fanart without permission but I did always link back to their sites. To any other person out there they'd see all my actions as evil but I honestly did not know any better. When I used fanart I thought they'd be flattered that I liked their art enough to put on my own site. I didn't think they'd see it as "stealing." As far as copying the text, well I did copy the text. No doubt about that. But damn back in the day I didn't know about "copy + paste" so I actually retyped everything word for word. Now that doesn't give me anymore of an excuse to use the info but what I did was out of complete innocence.
Back then there weren't really any big Persona sites or MegaTen sites in general. All we had back then was some shitty message board. I recall the day I posted a link to my site my ass was burned. I was in shock because I didn't know what I did was wrong. And you know how rude people on the internet can be. My feelings were hurt and crushed. I wasted so much time to make that site. I later just bought some Persona fanbooks and translated my own damn info. But as usual the site was short lived because I lost interest in researching and typing up content.
I didn't stop running sites though, I still maintained a website that was kind of like this. Except it had angst-ridden stories of a fourteen year old's life. I thought I was old at the time but hoho, looking back at myself now - damn what a kid. As far as horrid layout designs go I made sure to include a Persona midi on every page. During this time I also made a FFX site but it wasn't big or anything of course, how could I compete with all the other FFX sites out there?
The one site that I did make that did become huge was a W-inds. site I ran back then. I opened it up in 2001 shortly after I saw their music video for their first single "Forever Memories." That being the only site they had out I of course named the site "Forever Memories." W-inds. became a success overnight after they released their first single and thanks to the power of the internet it was only a matter of time before the English speaking community would encounter W-inds. I finally got the attention I always wanted on the internet. I always wanted to be the "god" of some fandom. Stupid I know, but hey I was fourteen. My site became a hit the larger the W-inds. fandom became. Sadly with all the reputation and hits my site was getting, I became a power hungry freak.
I recall whenever I had a hard time in r/l I'd find something to get angry about over the W-inds. community. I forgot what the hell or why the hell I was angry but several times I made overdramatic announcements on the front page that I was going to close the site. I can't remember why, but one time I even wrote vulgarities on the index page insulting the visitors. I got some messages from people that wrote in a mature matter about how rude I was being and it did make me realize how immature I was acting, but that didn't stop me from acting the way I did. Some people are mature for their age like the people that'd send me e-mails about how they liked my site and how I shouldn't close it down even though if it were me I'd be telling myself to get off that high horse and realize how much of an idiot you're being over a fansite of a boyband. At those times I physically was mature for my age but I had a long way to go as far as maturing mentally. That's how much of a power crazed bitch I became. Over a fansite of a boyband.
I don't know how the English speaking W-inds. community is now, I'm afraid to look back on it since I used to be such a huge part of it. But back then there used to only be a message board of some sort till you had to pay to use an account. Of course none of us were having that and communication between the W-inds. community died a little. During those times though I was still my power hungry self. I recall one time someone wrote an announcement about how Maki Goto's brother of EE Jump (Don't remember them? Don't worry, no one else does either. Some might know who Sonim is though, the other half of EE Jump) was now officially banned from EE Jump and no longer a member. This was during a time where he was kicked out for a while for his misbehavior (as far a being a Pop Idol, y'know that pure image they have to keep) but he came back for one song. So of course no one believed her. Instead of being nice about it we all shot her down and made fun of her. Worst of all the younger members went along acting like a bitch to her because of me, their elder. In the end she proved to be right and I wrote my apologies to her. Still, this just shows how crazy you can become with power. Over a boyband fandom.
Then there was this other time word broke out about how some young girl took all this info and images from every W-inds. website out there. What did we all do? We all ganged up and insulted her for her unoriginality and for stealing. Yes I didn't learn shit - wasn't that what happened to me months earlier? Shouldn't I have been a little more respectful? Especially coming from someone who's been in the same spot before? She later closed her site and wrote in English that all she wanted to do was make a great W-inds. fansite. She was new to the internet so she also didn't know of the "unspoken" rules of the internet yet. I beat her down with words too all because of my authority. Authority over a boyband fandom.
There was also a W-inds., Flame, and Lead message board called WFL or some shit. I don't know if it's still around. I posted there for a year or so but much of it was unmemorable. Later on my interest in W-inds. dwindled altogether (fads I tell you, fads) and I later just slowly let myself disappear from the W-inds. community. I later closed my site in 2004 after not updating it for a year. Even though I no longer had interest in W-inds. I'd still get people emailing me that they wanted to be friends. I felt terrible because I couldn't be like "Uh...I don't give a shit about W-inds. anymore..."
At the time I had a livejournal and friended a lot of people I met during the W-inds. era. I felt bad since I was changing more and the more I changed the more I lost interest in W-inds. So the sad thing was feeling myself drifting away from old friends because we no longer had common interests. They were still crazed about celebrities. I lost interest in following celebs. Can't say I was doing anything better though, I just went back to being a nerd who rambled on about video games, anime, and manga.
A past friend of mine hosted my site from 2003-2006. She mainly gave me space to host the W-inds. site. But I closed it two years prior and kept using her space for a personal site. Feeling terrible I eventually closed that site too. I then deleted my old livejournal that had like 100+ friends on it, a great deal of my "friends" were people from the old W-inds. days I no longer had anything in common with. By that time I disappeared altogether.
So my W-inds. experience was a needed one. It sure as hell taught me one thing, never run a fucking fansite again. I learned that lesson completely after running a Rose of Versailles fansite for a short period of time. When I ran fansites all I aimed to be was the best. And being the best is much wasted time buying merchandise you have just to remain the "guru" of the community. Like W-inds. I bought so much shit I didn't need of them. I actually shred the majority of the pointless crap I owned. They're mangled in some garbage dump right now.
Not only that, the "power hungry" state. Wanting to always be on top. I even watermarked my images. I didn't take the fucking pictures - why the hell did I do that for? Why does anyone in the fan community do that? It's understandable if it's your own photos or your creations but if it's just a scan there's really no reason to watermark it. Because you're not even supposed to be doing that anyway, for one thing look at the Japanese community. They abide to the rules completely so when you look at the majority of Japanese fansites it's all just text because they don't use copyrighted images. With the American web community the rules are much more laxed and people just do it anyway. (Even myself.) Sometimes the American sites of Japanese video games even let you download a fansite pack of images to use. You don't see them watermarking shit.